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Setbacks and Sore Points - The Misadventures of a Native New Yorker
No one opens the door for a Native New Yorker
Setbacks and Sore Points
So, yesterday, I saw my doc for the follow up. And I got the full prognosis/report.

Things are not nearly as positive as I'd hoped/thought.

For starters, there was a LOT more wrong with the ankle than just shards of cartilage everywhere. My mom swears that she and the doc explained this to me after the surgery, but did agree that it was entirely possible that information wasn't permeating my drug-addled state.

So basically the situation is this. Yes, the cartilage broke and flew every which and painful way possible. What's more, is that a big ass piece of bone also broke. And was also bouncing around amidst the cartilage, having fun with all the nerves and things you find in an ankle. There's even pictures from the surgery! The doctor had to remove the chipped-off section of bone, and drill holes in the remaining bone to promote blood flow and stimulate the regrowth of the chipped section. I'm also on Glucosamin for that purpose.

That's the good news.

The not-so-good news? Crutches. For six weeks. No weight on the left leg. For six weeks. Doc took the dressing off, but made it abundantly clear that the foot can't hold weight. It can be used for occasional balance (like showers) but nothing much more.

That also means no subway. And just trying to get from my apartment to the car on the crutches is an ordeal. Forget trying to go three avenues and two blocks to the express bus. Not to mention that gettng into the bus itself would not work. To say that I'm not great on the crutches is an understatement. Sunday night I almost broke a toe on the side opposite the broken ankle because I swung my leg into the crutch. (Doc said it wasn't broken, but it's bruised and hurting almost as badly.)

So I called work. I told them the deal and said that I would be happy to either work from home or come in if someone wanted to send a car for me to do so. HR was not interested in this. (I'm sure on crutches I'm a Workman's Comp claim waiting to happen). So it looks like I'm going to have to take some short-term disability time for the next month or so. My bosses were pretty understanding about the whole thing, surprisingly. I guess no one wants this kind of thing to happen to them, so there's no point of giving someone crap about it. One boss pointed out that me being exhausted from traveling and in pain every day might not be the best thing, and maybe it's just better for me to get better and come back after.

She's not wrong - I am in pain. Today was the first day I didn't really need the painkillers the doc prescribed for post-surgery. Naturally, I felt guilty about not feeling so badly. My brain says all sorts of nasty things to me unless I'm absolutely cross-eyed with pain. It wears on you after awhile. The brainweasles actually convinced me tonight that I could probably stand up and be just fine, since laying down didn't hurt anymore.

Brainweasles are not smart animals.

It hurt. Very much. I stood by my couch for a second - just stood! - and saw stars. Ankle has been yelling at me about this poor life choice for an hour or so now. Ankle definitely hurts again. ::sigh::

I love time off as much as the next guy, but I'm tired of feeling useless and helpless. j_bkl has had to do so much for me the last few days that I'm actually concerned about him going back to work tomorrow. I hate that I have to feel this way. And that for the next 5 or so weeks, I'm going to be this damn way. I'm someone who cherishes their independence and self-sufficiency, and all of that is pretty much out the window right now. It's going to be hard not to be depressed about it.

That's pretty much the lay of the land right now. Home for the next month or so. Not happy about it. Not really much to do about it except catch up on some movie and tv viewings and maybe do something creative, too. We'll see. I'll be doing whatever I have to do in order to get better and not go insane in the process.

Current Mood: sore sore
Current Music: NCIS

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atquillsmercy From: atquillsmercy Date: January 11th, 2012 03:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

Deny the weasels. They lead to your doom. *shudder*
offbalance From: offbalance Date: January 12th, 2012 05:06 am (UTC) (Link)
It's true.
whtegrlwthehair From: whtegrlwthehair Date: January 11th, 2012 03:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
let's make a plan for me to come over and entertain you! i can bring old board games like trivial pursuit!
offbalance From: offbalance Date: January 12th, 2012 05:06 am (UTC) (Link)
I'd love that!! Will email you. :)
lulu_girl From: lulu_girl Date: January 11th, 2012 06:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

This is one of my biggest fears, crutches + nyc does NOT mix well.

Take the short term disability. I took a month when I had those blood clots last April and I needed every single day to gain strength. I'm surprised they're not letting you work from home (once you're off the pain meds and able to function mentally a big better).

feel better. Rest up. And, hey, at least it's during winter so if bad weather hits you can definitely just stay home.
offbalance From: offbalance Date: January 12th, 2012 05:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, it kinda does. :(

I've noticed that. It's really a city that wants you to be able-bodied.

I think we may discuss that at some point. I'm not totally off the meds just yet (fun fact: bone growth is PAINFUL), but I'd be open to that if they wanted me to do stuff. There's some stuff I can do remotely, but other stuff may be things I can only do on-site. So we'll see. I think the attitude is to just "get better fast and get back here."

That was definitely a concern. And we're due for some capital-letter weather in the next few days, from the looks of it, too.
redesigner From: redesigner Date: January 12th, 2012 01:34 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sure you're less than delighted at the prospect of being a homebound invalid for the next month and a half. But on the upside, you'll be able to take a "staycation" for a while (I'm stretching, here, I know).

I would encourage you to think about any of the apartment-related projects you've been wanting to do for some time and use this as an opportunity to get them done. I've been reading the fantastic (and brain-altering) book You Are Not So Smart, and in the chapter on procrastination, the author suggests thinking about "Future You" vs. "Today You." The decisions that you make today will save Future You so much time, frustration and energy. It's a really simple paradigm but it's helped me a great deal over the past week or so both at home and at work--perhaps you will find it useful in combating boredom.
offbalance From: offbalance Date: January 12th, 2012 05:23 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm the very picture of be careful what you wish for. In the pre-holiday/late fall craziness at work I found myself wishing for time off at almost any cost. Guess I got my wish! (I wanted a steak and got a cow, though.)

What kind of apartment projects are you talking about? There's only so much I can do balanced on one leg (though it's possible my mom could be drafted into some help). I'm going to be focused on some long-neglected creative endeavors, possibly. And gratefully entertaining any friends who'd like to visit me. Hopefully. I've reserved that book from the library for my kindle (thanks!) and I'm looking forward to reading it, it seems interesting.

The future you vs. today you thing is something I've been using quite a bit at work before this, and present me is grateful that past me has had such foresight. I'll see how it shakes out here, though. I've been foggy headed and exhausted this week. Hopefully that will improve.
video_jukebox From: video_jukebox Date: January 12th, 2012 02:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Red Molly's going to miss "that bow-wieldin' lady" for the next six weeks. Hope you feel better soon.
offbalance From: offbalance Date: January 12th, 2012 05:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Don't be sad - I sent an email that might make you happy.
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